i originally posted this on grouphug.us..but i really liked it…so

There was a silent space in the air for Christopher; he knew that remaining quiet would force the others to speak. They all sat around each other, the women with their ankles crossed and the men, leaning forward, some probably aching for cigarettes, and some, for other drugs.
The way the room felt was thick and with a hint of stale breath. He looked around, his body not moving, his being entirely still. Everybody was fidgeting and seemed horribly uncomfortable in their seats. At the same time, they all seemed extremely interested in each other, their smiles almost devouring the person’s next sentence. Red lipstick lips with white powdered and painted noses, stubbled beards on the men, horn-rimmed glasses, some ties and whatever else they were wearing in their 50’s attire. But here he was, a man who was possibly a woman on the inside, forcing himself to look at these imaginary people, on a world of binary and codes, and once he truly stared into someone, they vanished, just as all vapors do.



To completely contradict my earlier blog about America Online, I would like to state that if the movie The Beach were possible (without all the murder, crack-hippies, and crazy natives) that I would totally forsake society and move to that island.  Basically, it’s just a movie about Hawaii.

This fantasy, sewn by eco-hippies and Leonardo DiCaprio is exactly that-a fantasy. There are only so many deserted islands to go around.  Only the rich can own their own slice of heaven, like in Dubai, and the world is literally sinking over there too.  We can’t have our garden paradise anymore because of the horde. Maybe we could implement a 1 child for every 10 people policy.  Go China.  The whole village could raise that one kid.  Build a better society.

Maybe we could destroy all of the buildings and concrete and blast them all into space (since the universe is expanding)…We could attach a rope to Hawaii, load all the junk onto the rope, blast that rope into space, and as the junk pile moves away at lightning speed, the universe expands, thus stretching Hawaii out and doubling the land size.  We could have eight Diamond Heads, three North Shores and ten Waikikis! Image

Ah, the last day…

First-let me share with you group hug.us, a site where people anonymously confess their deepest secrets online. That site is not for the easily disturbed. And now, to my blog.

Ah, the last day of class!  Ok, it’s not technically the last day.  The last day for me will be when we all present at Manifest.  Manifest, the place where we all go out and present our ideas in public!  Perhaps it’s because of my massive ego that I do not want to present anything at all. I am completely freaking out.  I used to be in all the plays at school and I even broke into the high-school only Drama Club at my private school. I paved the freaking way for eighth-graders everywhere! And now look at me! I get all shaky and nervous when I have to stand up in front of people.  The spotlight is something that many people are afraid of, and lately, I am no exception.

When America Online was introduced, everything in my life changed.


Glued, sucked, embedded into the computer I became.  Yes, the Apple II was delicious, but this was something else, and it was coming out just as my little 14 year old hormones were raging.  Now I had access to cute blonde boys all over the world.  I was drawn into the chat rooms and the purple profile fonts and flashing gifs and it was like tasting chocolate for the first time.  My real speech stopped, I stopped talking, only using my fingers to convey massive love feelings for a boy or two in Virginia, California, or Oklahoma.  There was no face to face, and soon I was waking up at 4 AM waiting to live my life indoors.  Speaking face to face with people was tedious for the teenage me.  They could not promise ultimate love, or tell me how pretty I was, or how they wanted to marry me and run far far away.  That never happened in real life. But my dreams came true on a keyboard and on a screen.

Now I am to present a dream of our future selves to a room full of real faces.  I am supposed to propose a way for getting out of the submarine.  But how can I do that when the sub has given me happiness, self-worth, amazing sex, and always true love?  How can I bite the hand that feeds me?



I just realized that I cannot post a photo to instagram without it being published somewhere on the internets. As a photographer who is cautious about what photos are ready for production, I think that it’s disgusting.  So, now, I am going to go back to the APP STORE to find hipstamatic, or something with great filters that doesn’t automatically publish everything I decide to take a picture of. How awful.

So, excuse the pre-enightenment nirvana rant that you are about to receive….




Facebook-Uncool? No way!  That was the first thought that I had when reading this article entitled “When did Facebook become so uncool?” on cnn.com.  The article claims that facebook is now uncool for multiple reasons (your grandma’s on there, they just bought instagram, etc.)

And then I quickly realized that I am 30 years old and am certainly not the definition of “cool”.  Not to teenagers, at least.  Who knows what those kids are up to?  But you really don’t expect me to think that teens are the nowadays definition of “cool” as we hear it these days.  Those kids can’t do anything.  Unless you watch 21 Jump Street, where cool is now “both shoulder straps, not just one.”

What is cool, anyway? Is cool Sex and the City or Hannah Montana?

Isn’t it great that facebook bought instagram? (dang, autocorrect, stop capitalizing that word “facebook”! Now, that is uncool, since that’s not how it’s written.) Now we can just upload our photos to the only website we really use! And why do we only use this website? Because it’s intuitive. It’s not because it’s cool, it’s because it’s easy, it keeps improving, and the technology is getting better.  Of course, some would argue that timeline is horrendous, but for the most part, it does what it should. instagram, on the other hand, as a standalone app is a little less easy to operate. But now with their buyout, their corporate soul-eating, they will easily be able to connect the two and photos will be so much easier to share with your friends.  Your harmless friends.  Who cares that it’s all connected? Isn’t this a good thing?  Isn’t this better?  Shouldn’t we all be one thing anyway?  Isn’t that what Buddha, Jesus, Mohammad, and Shartramutyiyi teach?  Yes! It is!  So let’s capitalize on our passions, our drive to share, to become one, to have an animal mind, where speech is hardly needed, because we all seem so psychically intertwined, when in reality, we are just bees in a beehive, producing the




The Cyborg Generation

Little Big Planet

Well,we finally got to see what this Little Big Planet game was about.  It seems horribly tedious!  Who would want to spend hours upon hours building an imaginary house on a tv screen?  There has got to be some kind of prerequisite listed somewhere in the game rules: Must Be Able to Concentrate.  Must not exhibit symptoms of ADHD.

I believe that children who are allowed to play this game most certainly develop amazing  cognitive abilities.  Maybe not social skills directly, but in some video game world, just as in WOW, there are skills being developed.  But I’m not here to argue about that, AM I?

Something that happened pre-class is bothering me.  One of the students was speaking about how his internet or cable or something got shut off.  And then Pr. G said something along the lines of :sarcasm: isn’t it horrible that that’s all we have to worry about…

And so I responded, “well it’s not like we can worry about our local watering hole being taken over.”

Then he said I had a nihilistic viewpoint or worldview.  Yeah, that’s not completely true.

::In The Dude’s voice::: I care about things, man.  I really do. But not everything can be proven or should be argued about.  Of course, we can affect change in our society, but actually doing something is another level.  People get into charity when they a) have money b) have time c) get older d) are special unique souls who care about people a ton

I care about all that heavy stuff, man. I care about people.  Most people don’t know me, but if their lives were at risk, I can say with experience that I will risk my life for a stranger.  In many situations, I am the first to respond. What’s that Marine commercial? Some people run away from the chaos, but marines run towards it?  That’s me.  I’ll save your ass and not know you.

Yes, I care about things.  I care about loyalty, and social interactions about people, and it really miffs me to think that people think that I don’t care about anything.  Some people care about far-off things like Uganda and Invisible children or Tibet.  I care about those too, but in a small percent.  I care about people the most, the people I come into contact with everyday.




Our facebook, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy username.

Today I was at the beach enjoying my beer when all of a sudden, a group of about 50 people cascaded onto the sand. From past experience, I immediately knew what they were doing there. It was a mass baptism. The first thing I noticed was that someone was holding an umbrella for the pastor to shield him from the sun. I thought, why should he get special treatment? Why, in religion, must someone be held to a higher standard than the rest of the congregating masses? This is the reason why some people don’t attend churches with designated pastors. There is a sort of celebrity-status that follows pastors around.

The next thing that I noticed were the many cameras capturing this event. The beach was gorgeous today. The water was a vivid turquoise and there was not a drop of rain in the air. The cameras and the camera phones were held up, ready for the perfect shot. I wondered how many of those captured moments would end up on facebook. Instantly I wondered why people were taking the pictures..was it to capture this moment or to prove that they were part of something terrifyingly spiritual? What was it?

These days, picture taking has become something of an invisible beast. We upload and upload pictures and then make books out of those pictures on sites like shutterfly and snapfish and then we reshow them to the people inside of the photos. We tag and approve and comment on each moment in time. We are each other’s critics and we are artophiles. I have four cameras. One is a Polaroid, resurrected from the 80’s. Another is a rugged waterproof canon. The other, a digital slr with multiple attachments and thingamabobs. And my latest- a Sony cybershot, perfect for everything else. Is this a form of narcissism? Probably. What was the purpose of those pictures? Were any of the believers taking pictures out of narcissism? Probably. If they were perfect humans, they’d be…golden retrievers. (dogs are the best humans ever).

While I was building a fake sand temple out of sticks and coral, I began to wonder about the state of things before photography. What did people do to remember their sacred moments? What did they do when they fell in love or had a child or had a party? They wrote letters, drew with charcoal, pressed flowers into books. Before that, there were statues, paintings, sayings carved into walls. Facebook has always existed in humanity. We just call this social networking something different and use a different medium to record our status updates. Instead of cave walls in France, we use our phones. It’s like a magical cave wall, where everyone sees that you killed a buffalo and the other tribe members, instead of shouting out high pitched screams of exultation…well, they just click like. Society bonds, and humans move further into a peaceful place and somewhat uneventful existence.

Each time someone was dipped into the water and then brought back, the massive crowd at the beach cheered and clapped. Even though I do not believe in that one guy in the sky, I do believe that humans are bonded through interactions with each other. I believe that we are meant to talk, to have rituals and rites of passage, and I believe that faith is powerful. I say faith, not religion. Those are two different things. Faith helps many people bond. This is why the whole beach clapped when the rest of the church crowd clapped. Those people had an audience of random beach goers, and perhaps the strongest conversion that day happened in the souls of those who were not a part of that group. I clapped right along with them, because I realized that at that moment, when the newly baptized person came out of that gorgeous water, it symbolized a new beginning for them. It was a chance to start over. That person was now attached to something more powerful than just their own self. They were attached to God, their version of god. The God Internet. It’s like they created a profile page and just added hundreds of friends, all clicking like forever.

Why Facebook is killing God

My temple of sand.

KONY 2012 Campaign Explained

Today at work, someone asked me, “Have you heard about this KONY thing? Do you know what it is? I’ve seen about ten people on my facebook posting about it.” I asked him, “Posting what? Quotes or something?” I thought he was talking about something religious, and I told him that as soon as I got home, I would let him know what these KONY quotes were all about.  I didn’t expect to care about it.

I wanted to make sure that all of this talk wasn’t just from a fake video on Youtube, as so many video trends turn out to b e.  No, this one is real.  But before you get all wrapped up in the campaign, remember to check your facts.  Kony isn’t in Uganda at the moment, or at least some people are saying.

If you haven’t heard of Joseph Kony, he is a war criminal whose organization, the L.R.A.  (Lord’s Resistance Army) has been accused of kidnapping, raping, and murdering countless amount of humans.  The publisher of the book The Lord’s Resistance Army: Myth and Reality, writes,

“The Lord’s Resistance Army is Africa’s most extraordinarily persistent and notorious terrorist group.  Since their rebellion in northern Uganda began in 1987, the group is estimated to have abducted an estimated 30,000 children as well as committing a series of massacres and other horrific human rights abuses against the local population.  Led by the mysterious Joseph Kony, who in 2005 was indicted by the International Criminal Court, they remain a group that inspires both fascination and fear.” –L.R.A. Myth and Reality


You may want to click on the following links and find out for yourself what many people are talking about.

Read this (slightly biased) article –Joseph Kony is not in Uganda (and other complicated things).  The article almost bashes people for supporting this movement simply because Kony “is not in Uganda”.  Joshua Keating, the author is stuck on one piece of information and sounds miffed.  It’s as if Keating is just bothered with his friend’s status updates all saying the same thing.  If you can get past that, the article is quite informative.

Watch the video on Youtube

Here is a Huffington Post article, a proven source of reliable information.

Sign the pledge

The official STOP KONY 2012 twitter

Always look critically at this information.  Who is Joseph Kony? What real proof do we have that he actually exists and is committing horrible atrocities?  Here are some other sources:

February 2012 Reuters article

February 2012 allafrica.com article urging followers of Kony to desert him, compares him to Osama bin Laden

A 2006 article from allafrica.com 

Uganda: LRA hostages go hungry as militants flee

I urge you to sign the pledge; it’s quite simple.

Even after all this time, The sun never says to the earth, “You owe me.”

1) What do I care about?

This is a difficult question to answer candidly.  It’s difficult because the first answer that comes to mind is something along the lines of “I don’t really care about anything.”  But when I say that, I mean it in mostly a political sense. Once, in high school, two girls wrote poems to a bunch of other classmates. Each poem included something mean/critical about the recipient, and what was wrong with her.  (That she was mean, or dumb, or a backstabber).  But when it came to me-my “insult” was that I never chose a side.  I’ve never really seen that as a fault, though.  To me, everything is undefined and arguable.  So when it comes to politics or caring about some thing or some cause, I find it difficult to take a stand for anything.  The popular and overused quote-you know it-“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything” is an awful saying.  (See, this is where I begin to care…about not caring).  But if you don’t stand for something, then you are sitting, and that’s as peaceful of a protest as you can get.

I will tell you what I really care about, and you will think horribly of me.  I care about my guinea pig, imac, ipad, nails, how i look, how i feel, depression, anxiety, hail in wainanalo, sexuality, human impulses, why people don’t smile back, why people always seem so bored, why so many people aren’t nice, driving with your headlights on, strangers, speling you’re correctly and other grammar atrocities, alaska, languages, money, scholarships, my feet, my comfortable bed, cleaning my closet. I think what bothers me most is how we can be surrounded by people, but no one really talks to each other.

2) Do I want social change?

I think social change is huge and it still hasn’t happened in the scale that it needs to.  i know that my list of what i care about might have the reader thinking that i am a shallow and superficial being, and in a lot of ways, I really am.  i think that there is so much hate in this world.  all of the world’s problems stem from hate or fear.  if you hate, you judge, so get rid of it.  people need to learn to stop hating everything. there are so many names for hate: racism, homophobia, murder, pollution, and the list is one everybody knows.  of course i want social change.  it’s up to every individual to just be…nicer.

3) How can I start or prevent it?

Acceptance and non-judging of other people is a good start.  Speaking up and defending helpless victims of violence is a start.  You know the law of attraction by now, who doesn’t?  whatever a person focuses on will become their life. my own attempt to draw people’s attention towards the positive is my twitter account:  wisdomquotes.  I try to add inspirational quotes all the time ..and if you have any, feel free to send them to me

This book is also amazing…on how to enact social change

4) Are these people smarter than me?

Yes. I think that so many people are smarter than i am.  i am not highly skilled in reading comprehension.  i make a lot of mistakes.  i don’t go out a lot.  but there is that theory about multiple types of intelligence.  So those people in the documentary are probably a lot smarter than me at what they are doing, and that is fine with me.

5) How are these people different from me?

Those people are focused and highly motivated.  They also seem a lot more confident than I am.

Two of my own questions:

6)  What is your favorite quote? If you don’t have one, here is a good place to start: wisdomquotes.com

7) If you could have everyone instantly realize just one thing, what would it be?

Religion+Tech, or Religion=Tech?

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